So much of psychiatry is opinion. While there can be general agreement that something is amiss with an individual, sometimes gravely so, there can also be a lot of debate as to what that actually is. The discussion about their potential mental disorder may be stimulating and interesting for the clinician; perhaps rather less so…
Tag: psychiatric patient
Love & relationships
As a patient with mental illness, I am very grateful to my partner. He has stayed with me throughout, been there for the difficult times, and still takes me to my regular ECT maintenance sessions. I hate going for these; the treatment is no fun, but I also hate having to go there with him…
Asking for help
Asking for help doesn’t seem to be very easy. As my maintenance ECT sessions stretch further apart, I am feeling more and more pulled between huge relief at stopping, and horrible fear – also at stopping. Obviously, the hope for me and my family is that I will stay well, be there for them, and…
What is psychiatry becoming?
This is a difficult post to write, and is probably a reflection of many things - my own illness and return to work, the challenges of trying to change things in a clunky system, and maybe even just the simple need for a holiday. But I am weary of psychiatry. I just don’t know where…
Values and beliefs
Why is psychiatry more value-laden than many other specialties, or at least perceived as such? I’ve been reading the views of the anti-psychiatry folk recently, and they trouble me; however, strangely I also find those who hold the opposite views quite troubling. And I think that this is because as soon as there are opposing…
Am I better? How can I know?
I’ve spent much of the past year stuck in a depressive episode. Sometimes I’ve felt a bit better, and at those times I’ve tried harder than anything to haul myself out of the pit – sometimes it works a little, but mostly it’s just made it harder. But because I can talk a bit, maybe…
Who’s at risk?
Next week I’m hoping to return to work after a few months off. It’s been a year since I became ill this time – I returned early last year, but it was too soon, and I found myself off again. I have a diagnosis – bipolar disorder – and I’m on quite a lot of…
Don’t be afraid to tell me
I think I’m getting a bit better. But it’s always hard to tell. I have bad days and better days. I have days when I don’t have to do anything, so it doesn’t matter. I have days when I have to talk to people, and so it does matter. Some of these, I can manage…
The art of being oversensitive
I would describe myself as reasonably sensitive – after all, I’m a psychiatrist and, as such, would think that I am sensitive to other people’s needs. I don’t think that I’m particularly more sensitive than many others, and I know plenty of people who care and show empathy, both to friends and family, and even…
Farewell depression?
I am very happy to finally feel that I am shedding the last horrible remnants of my recent depression. I feel much better, possibly slightly on the high side, which I find hard to admit, much harder, actually, than saying I’m depressed. And it’s not too bad, so why worry? Nothing that can’t be managed with…
One way or another..
It’s impossible to describe what it’s like having a mood disorder, mainly because it will vary depending on your mood. I’ve written before about this, but make no apologies for doing so again. It’s something I feel compelled to think about and explore, while knowing that I will never properly understand it. Most people’s moods…
Fear and relapse
Not very long ago I was quite ill, in fact probably very ill indeed. Throughout my decades of illness, I have found it difficult to understand and recognise my illness; more recently I seem to have become more aware of my mood swings, and that they don’t necessarily align with what is happening or what…
Beauty and mental illness
There is nothing beautiful about mental illness. Art and literature may sometimes present it as such, but this is not reality. Depression first gripped me as a young woman; now I am in what can only be described as middle age, and my mood disorder has continued to torment me over the years. At times…
What next?
I have written very little in the last few months, as I’ve been quite unwell. Even I realise this, something which suggests rare and blossoming insight – although it may evaporate as soon as normality returns, who knows. But things have been hard. My mood has been very low, my beliefs about myself and my…
Adapting or coping
I often read blogs or writing by other people with mental illness – I find them interesting and inspiring, and often curious. After all, we all live within the confines of our own experience, however much we think we ride above it. Even as we start to understand, it often changes. Perhaps we get a…
Why now, and not then?
I wonder, at times, why I didn’t write more about my experiences of mental illness when it was hot off the press. Not necessarily when I was very unwell, but in the aftermath of early episodes, when I was young, and emotions were high. It would have been very different, and I might not like…
Belief
It’s very hard to know whether you’re wrong or right about things, even when you have all the information that you think you need. In fact, while I would always advocate acquiring facts and proof, I think that it’s virtually impossible to do this in a non-biased way – we can’t help but be pulled…
ECT – what I feel
The experience of having ECT has always been frightening for me, though – going through that door - repeatedly - to a place I can never really remember.
Modern life and expectations
When I am lying in my comfortable bed at night, I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had been born, one hundred, five hundred, even one thousand years ago. And usually I breathe a sigh of relief that this is not the case, and turn over and go to sleep.…
Psychiatric beds
These wards contain so many people’s individual horrors, and there needs to be enough beds and enough people to carry all this and care for them. Otherwise we lose our humanity.