You said I was resilient, and you smiled; I never understood quite what you meant, but thought it was inside me, deeply furled, then one day I looked inwards, and saw nothing. You had made me think I was a hero, a modified St George without a sword You told me I had courage in my guts, and weary though I was you said - do more! When I said no, you said that others could and that the fault was mine, and I was nothing. You said we need resilience in this life, that I must nurture mine to make it grow so you could make me do much more than now. And then I turned around and looked at you, You want me to do more, I said, to work myself to nothing. This is your resilience. You do not care for me, you only want to squeeze out what you can and then replace me with another, saying sadly, she had no resilience. But I am not St George I am St Georgina, and I’ll never slay a dragon; You will not need me now, for you are nothing.
The notion of throw it away when this one is worn out resonates with me – blame the individual as ‘they’ can’t blame the system as this is dictated by those on high who don’t supply resources and have no will to do so. I’m in a negative and cynical period!