Mental health from both sides
Writing about ECT, as a patient, comes round for me, again and again. Perhaps it’s not a surprise that I’m not entirely sure what I’ve said and written already – indeed, perhaps that’s the whole point. I don’t know how many treatments I’ve had. I know I had quite a lot (?20) last winter, and…
Back in 2020, I saw myself as something of a Covid resistance fighter. When Covid-19 first hit, my ward was converted into a Covid unit (admittedly not for the very ill), and, despite taking advised precautions, it’s hard to believe I managed then to avoid that nasty little virus. But I stayed well, and even…
2020 hasn’t been the best of years. Think where you were this time last year, and what you expected from this one – I doubt that it was learning to share your screen on zoom. I can’t think of any other skills I’ve attained, and I’m not even very good at that. Break-out rooms sound…
This year has been one of lockdown and restrictions, that have been grim for many. All the normal human things we do, like touch each other, smile and gather in groups, have been snatched away or rationed in a way that we could never have imagined. There is growing concern about the effect on people’s…
What if psychiatry is wrong? I ask myself this question quite often. As a patient, because I find it hard to believe my diagnosis and I hate taking medication; as a doctor because I need conviction to treat my patients well. This is all fine and good, but psychiatry is not a single entity. I…
This is a question frequently asked, and unsatisfactorily answered. I don’t know the answers, and I won’t pretend to, but I find it quite a difficult dichotomy – along with many others in the field of mental illness. I once worked for a psychiatrist, years ago, who took the trouble to reassure me that he…
My brain has been somewhat exercised of late, both by my own internal wrangles about psychiatric treatments and by various online debates, particularly about ECT. These debates often seem to be moral and emotional in nature, making it particularly hard to contribute or indeed come to any conclusions. I am someone with a very precarious…
I used to think that being present in any particular situation ensured accuracy. By this I mean accuracy of observation and also of recall; that standing witness to events was always reliable. As a child, I thought of the years as a climbing staircase, with different events, schools and holidays marking out the way. In…
This is pure self-indulgence – I know there are many tall people who would like to be shorter, fat who would like to be thinner, old who would like to be younger, and perhaps the vice versas. And what about those who are shunned for race, sexuality, illness? That is far more grave. But we…
Every year the DVLA sends me some forms to fill out. Every year I feel a frisson of fear as I do so, knowing that my psychiatrist will also be asked for his answers to these questions. No lying possible, no bending of the truth. So far, I have been issued with a licence each…
It would be daft to think that stress plays no role in mental illness – it is, after all, a normal human reaction in difficult and challenging situations, and I doubt that I’m alone in finding the experience of mental illness really quite stressful. I get stressed when I am ill, and often worry about…
Why dwell on the past when you don't have to? Especially when the past was less than happy, and better put aside. Many years ago, as a junior trainee psychiatrist, I wrote an article about my experiences as a psychiatric patient, and showed it to some senior colleagues. I have never forgotten the words of…